Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Deserving



I sat nervously awaiting my punishment. I knew that it would be bad this time; for I had disregarded all of his direct orders. What was I thinking? Why did I feel it necessary to test him like this? I knew the price I must pay for disobedience, would be severe…

I had been sitting in the cold, empty room since before dark. It had to be at least nine by now; or was it later? Every noise was amplified by the dark. My heartbeat rocked my entire body. God, when would he come?

I considered just walking away, getting up, and never looking back. Nevertheless, I knew this was not an option. This lifestyle, as much as he, were part of my existence. I do not think I could breathe without the satisfaction he gave me, the satisfaction in just being his bitch.

As quickly as the thought entered my mind, the sound of the door opening quickly made me forget that I ever thought about leaving in the first place. I could smell him, immediately. That strong, masculine smell flooded my senses, reminding me of his strength. He never need say a word to identify himself, I already knew, even in the darkness.

The goosebumps were already visible on my skin, even before he ran his smooth fingers down the length of my cheek. The stiffness of his fingers told me that there would be no freebies given tonight. He was angry with me, worse was that he was disappointed… And for the first time, I felt true fear from him. Fear that he would dismiss me from his training.

Abruptly, I was brought back to reality, as he jerked my head upwards so that his face was inches from mine. How I crave his forcefulness. How I crave to be manhandled by him.

His hand coiled backwards, coming down in brute force across my face. My vision flickered, as I sucked my breath in. I did not see that coming, therefore I was unable to prepare. It rocked me to the core. Tears sprang forward and gasps escaped my throat. Again, his hand came down, this time landing on the other side of my face and knocking me backwards in my chair. He never said a word as he picked me up from the floor and began to clean me up. I could only sob, knowing this is what I deserved, what I wanted.

I do this purposely, so he will give me the punishment, I feel I deserve.

3 comments:

Gray said...

Hmmm lovely.. *grins*

wifegonebad said...

Mmmm that's intensely hot River Girl (I also enjoyed your previous post on choking. And I love the design of your new blog. OK, that's enough bloggy-love for now. ;->

finbar said...

very intense scene!!

finbar

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